what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
