okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
