I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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