youre lurking in front of me
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
