Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize