I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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