dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize