We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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