My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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