we're blogging at a bar
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
we're making bets on your personal life
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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