Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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