I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
