Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
