I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
