ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
