I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
