So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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