Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
