took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i just had sex bonerless
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
whose parrot is this?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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