Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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