this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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