I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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