Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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