i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
please come you make the beer taste better
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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