i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
