the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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