Grow some girl-balls and come out already
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
