I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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