Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
