Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize