Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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