What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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