woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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