that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Can I color on your dick again?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
