dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
