You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
