I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
