We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
