i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
