I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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