white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
