went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
