tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
