my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
