Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
