end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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