In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize