it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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