I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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