I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
