Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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