her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize