Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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