69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
