great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i think i have herpe
just one?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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