They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
