It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I DEMAND FORESKIN
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
