Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
