I'm really into asian looking animals
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
