hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
