Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
