you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Send help, water and tortillas.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
