I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
