I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize