You're completely useless in the revolution.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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