Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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