so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
