the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Boobs speak an international language.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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