Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
