but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
