what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
