i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
