I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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