I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
