2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
its not stalking. its research.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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