Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
