But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
