Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
