I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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