This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
