Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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