it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
